In total honesty, I actually wrote a long ass post on my iPad about eating clean. Of course eating clean is important, but what's more important is being healthy. Mind, body and spirit. It's taken me a lot to write this because i haven't been in the best and the most healthy state but i'm working to save myself. Beating yourself up over missing a day at the gym, beating yourself up for eating unhealthily is NOT HEALTHY. It's damaging, in all aspects; psychologically, emotionally, physically, mentally. YOU DO NOT FOLLOW MEAL PLANS YOU FIND ONLINE IN A HEART BEAT, you just don't. Go to a doctor, go to someone certified medically and ask for help and opinion. Do not do it alone. You'll end up risking your life for something so uncertain. You want to eat ice-cream and cake and chocolates, eat up! Honey, there's nothing wrong. A healthy mind and a healthy spirit is most important :) Today, i learnt that nobody defines and dictates how i should be and how i should live. Not the weighing scale and especially not fucking society. I'm learning how to open up, how to seek help. If i do this alone, i'll lose my sanity. I admit, i haven't been at the top of my game or been in the best state.
I admit, i've let my weight loss and fitness push me to the edge. I've beaten myself up. I've had negative or damaging thoughts about my life and myself. I have, time and again, denied help and denied the fact that I NEED HELP. I'm afraid that if i sought help or if i spoke out, people will only judge me. I have been two-faced about being fit, healthy and happy when in actual fact, i've put myself in harm's way many at times, mainly my health. I have denied the fact that i have had disordered thoughts and habits. I now know and now acknowledge the fact fully. Acceptance is the first step. I'm extremely hard-headed and stubborn so healing and recovering is hard, but it's a progressive process. I am seeking help, learning how to cope with myself, how to cope with past bullying and the immense damage it caused to my being. Being backstabbed by a dear "friend", being bitched about and bullied openly, referred to as "fat" by a guy, being in love with a jerk, so on and so forth. It took a toll on my mental, psychological and physical health. I wish i could rewind time and stood up against it better, but i can't. Mending it is the only way.
So yes, i'll still post what i'm supposed to post. Another wordy post, what's new haha. But hey, i promise the good stuff(idk how many times i've emphasised the hate i feel towards slipshod blog posts. You either blog with your heart or don't blog at all). I put this post off for too long already, i owe you guys one.
DISORDERED HABITS
Admittedly, no matter how much i deny, i KNOW and i ACCEPT the fact that i have disordered habits. No matter how minor, still disordered. It's taken me a lot to admit this and to accept it, but hey, what's life without hiccups along the way. Losing 20 over kilos and refusing to accept the fact that i have a phobia of gaining back some weight/eating unhealthily/ not working out is something that's elusive. However, no matter how much i refuse it, it's a fact and i need to step up to the plate to deal with it. I've been running away from it for the longest time possible. What i don't and didn't realise is that running away from my disordered habits only made it worse. It builds up, all the pent up tension and pain, it really affected me and messed with my head. It didn't only hurt me, it hurt my loved ones as well, more deeply than it hurt me. It's like watching a loved one wither away and die and not being able to do anything about it. So now, i want to make right all the wrong. I want to heal myself, i want to recover. I want to seek help and i want to open up.
I know i will never fully understand the hurt, damage and pain that a person with a full-on eating disorder or mental disorder suffers with/from, but i want to let you know that it's okay to open up. Talk about it, speak out, speak up :D Confide in someone. Seek help from anyone. A family member, a trusted friend, a teacher, a school counsellor. Anybody. When you've let it all out and cried your heart out, you'll feel a lot better. Heck, i'm here for anyone to talk to as well :) Only when you've spoken up about it, will you have someone to look out for you. To keep you on the right track and to take you in during your most damaged state. Having someone to look out for you and to listen to you will make healing better and easier. It's ultimately your choice, love <3 Make the right and the best choice. Always do what's best for you, you're not irrelevant, you're not a wallflower. You were born to stand out, to shine. You're strong, you're capable of anything great. Having been broken only gives you the capacity to come around stronger. The battle is yours to make right. Your scars should serve as a reminder that you didn't falter in times of adversity. You're a warrior(demi lovato reference) and you CAN AND WILL make your life better. You CAN AND WILL win the battle because you're extremely capable. You're extremely loved and cared for, so don't distant yourself sweetie, open up. The first step is always the hardest but it'll be the best thing that you've ever done. AND I LOVE YOU WITH ALL THAT I AM, i can't tell you how many of my idols and fitspirations were once ED sufferers themselves. It always reminds me of how the only way is up, when you've hit rock bottom. Don't ever ever ever give up, you're worth so much :)
HEALTHIER FOOD ALTERNATIVES
I'm in the bulking phase aka eat-all-i-want-and-not-give-a-single-shit phase because hey, i deserve the break. I worked so hard, it's time i give myself some leeway. I do, try my best to eat clean and eat healthy the bulk of the time but other than that, i'm all about giving myself whatever i want, when i want it and when i feel like it. You should take your time to ease into clean and healthier food alternatives because it's pretty hard on the finances and different bodies and digestive systems work differently and react differently towards different foods. Like i said earlier, always seek help from professionals aka doctors, medically-certified physicians and nutritionists before you want to do anything life changing to your body and your health but you don't know how to. About finances, so what if eating clean and eating healthy is not cheap? Your health is your wealth. It should be the biggest investment you make because without your health, you wouldn't be here. Save the money, work for the money. Besides, eating clean is fun! You get to discover new flavours and try new things. Mix and match foods to suit your taste. That eureka moment when you discover new recipes on your own. It's all worth it, i promise. How do you expect to look like a million bucks if you constantly eat from the $2 menu at McDonalds? Health is top priority and it should never be compromised! God gave you this body to take care of, take care of it well <3
Cravings, worse things ever.
My number
one tip for indulging but still maintaining your weight is to eat in
moderation. I tell everybody this because its my secret to maintaining weight.
I've been the same weight/losing weight occasionally for a pretty long time now
and I don't ban foods! I merely limit them. However some days I can eat 5
ice-cream cones at one go. But that's not the point guys.... The point is, you
can have all these foods but don't shove them into your mouth. Be patient, let
the TASTE satisfy you, not the quantity. Treasure your food!
RICE
I'm
Asian. Nuff said.
Substitute:
Brown rice, quinoa
Reason:
If you've eaten brown rice before, you know how little of it you have to eat to
make you crazy full. Added to that, brown rice is a complex carb. As it is a
grain that is not fully refined(unrefined is the way to go guys), the fiber
helps in better bowel movement! It's also a slow-release sugar form as the body
takes a longer time to process it. Basically, all grains are fuel and most fuel
is absorbed by the body in glucose form. When brown rice(unrefined rice, hull
intact) is consumed, the "sugar" in it gets absorbed slowly(cos it
takes a hell lot of effort for the body to digest the hull itself), thus
reducing the occurrence of spikes in blood sugar levels(aka insulin spikes).
Everybody knows that abrupt spikes in blood sugar levels is bad. Just the
thought of it makes it sound almost evil. So brown rice is cool rice. I love me
some brown rice.
Quinoa is
almost entirely protein-based. Protein is always better than carbs so yup. I
have never tried quinoa before so I'm not sure about its health benefits! Tell
me, anybody!? Haha I'm so not knowledgeable about quinoa. But that's cos I need
to finish eating the large sack of brown rice I have at home before buying
quinoa. Need to curb my spending lol I literally hoard food.
MILK
Dairy is
not bad! Personally, I just try as best as I can to steer away from it cos it
makes me(and most people) bloat. Don't get me wrong, maybe dairy is the best
thing ever for you, go ahead and have it! But for me, I try not to take as much
dairy, maybe once or twice in a week :) non-dairy milk honestly tastes really
really really good. Seriously. I rarely take cow milk now that I've found other
milk alternatives. I've never gone back lol.
Substitute:
Almond milk, oat milk, quinoa milk, rice milk
Reason:
No reason really. Imo, almond milk and oat milk are the best tasting milk
substitutes I've ever tasted in my life. Better than chocolate, strawberry,
banana, honeydew and whatever flavored cow's milk. No, for real, go and buy it
now.
HAHA.
It's got lesser additives compared to the cow's milk you find in the
refrigerated shelves in the supermarket. Most of 'em are also organic. I'm
currently switching in between organic oat milk and organic unsweetened almond
milk. Love them soooooooo much
CHOCOLATE AND SUGAR
Idk la I
used to LIVE on sugar and chocolate back in the day. After weight loss, I
couldn't possibly go back to my old ways right. Besides, I love the feeling of
being healthy and fit, I wasn't gonna sacrifice all that for unnecessary sugar
intake. It's not worth it, really. I eat so much sugar from fruit, I really
don't need the refined sugar :D
However,
when I crave for it (uh, 90% of the time it's ice cream OML), I'll just go and have it. I don't believe in giving off
days. No really, if you crave for it, just have it. You'll end up binging less
when you DO happen to eat it. But portion control is key! Taste your food
slowly! Don't eat the whole block of chocolate or the whole tub of ice-cream
>.<
Substitute:
Almonds, gluten-free dairy-free Weiss sorbet, bananas with almond butter, Rice Dream rice milk ice cream, So Delicious almond milk ice cream
Reason: I
personally feel that any healthy food that has the same texture, consistency
and flavor of unhealthy foods are good enough substitutes :D I substitute my
ice-cream with fruit sorbet, chocolate with almonds and almond butter(fatty and
buttery taste), chocolate with bananas(sugary and buttery taste).
PROTEINS
Meats
You need
proteins to build muscle! After weight loss, all that's left of me was nasty
flab and leftover bits of fat. Protein is my holy grail of foods, i love loading up on protein because it tastes so good and it's good for you! Lean meats or fish that are high in omega 3 are the best, they also taste as heavenly and they're good for you. I eat red meat once in awhile, once a week at least so I can get the iron that i need. Iron=needed in formation of red blood cells
Substitute/Good protein sources: Chicken breast, turkey, SALMON, white meat fishes such as Halibut, Eggs, lean beef/mutton
Gluten-free, dairy-free, egg-free, kosher parve approved, organic bread: Jones the Grocer at Ion Orchard
Milk: Cold storage, Fairprice Xtra, Fairprice Finest
Vegetables: Cold Storage, The Market Place at Paragon, Fairprice Finest, Fairprice Xtra
Meats and Fish: Giant, Cold Storage, Fairprice, Fairprice Finest, Fairprice Xtra
Snacks (Gluten-free chocolates, rice thins, cereal): Fairprice Finest, Fairprice Xtra, Cold Storage
Supplements (Milk thistle): Unity
Organic Brown rice: Any supermarket
Substitute/Good protein sources: Chicken breast, turkey, SALMON, white meat fishes such as Halibut, Eggs, lean beef/mutton
OILS
I live on olive oil. Although i try not to use too much oil or use oil at all in my cooking, i swear by olive oil. Not only is it good for you, it also brings out more flavour from the food that you cook compared to other oils. Which is why i don't season my food much! Just the magic of olive oil. I heard it's great for other uses such as hair care, have yet to try it out though haha. I use olive oil butter when i want to bake because it's olive oil!! It's my holy grail of health foods, second to almond butter.WHERE I GET THEM
Some foods such as organic vegetables can be found in your neighbourhood supermarkets. However, they only carry the mainly asian vegetables such as organic kai lan, organic bok choy. I tend to visit bigger scale supermarkets(not Giant) or specialty supermarkets to get the other types of vege and meats. Free range eggs are also mostly available in bigger scale supermarkets and specialty supermarkets.Gluten-free, dairy-free, egg-free, kosher parve approved, organic bread: Jones the Grocer at Ion Orchard
Milk: Cold storage, Fairprice Xtra, Fairprice Finest
Vegetables: Cold Storage, The Market Place at Paragon, Fairprice Finest, Fairprice Xtra
Meats and Fish: Giant, Cold Storage, Fairprice, Fairprice Finest, Fairprice Xtra
Snacks (Gluten-free chocolates, rice thins, cereal): Fairprice Finest, Fairprice Xtra, Cold Storage
Supplements (Milk thistle): Unity
Organic Brown rice: Any supermarket
MY MEAL PLAN & RECIPES
(HUGE DISCLAIMER: MY PERSONAL MEAL PLAN. Which means i've tried and tested it out to suit my body. Before embarking on any type of diet or meal plan, PLEASE I BEG YOU, to seek help from a healthcare professional or someone who is medically-certified. Different bodies and systems react differently to different types and portions of food)
Just like any other healthcare professional would tell you, i'd tell you the same thing. Eat small but frequent meals to ensure that your metabolism is constantly running! Your metabolism is super important and it really affects your weight. Eating 1 meal a day or going less than 3 will seriously harm your metabolism. I did it before for a short period of time(but i stopped, thank God for saving me. I've never ever ever gone on that path ever again.) and i was so astounded at the rate my body burnt and used up the food. I remember for a period of time i actually felt that my body STOPPED digesting my food or it digested and processed my food super slowly. I felt so sick and stupid. So tried and tested, human guinea pig here. It does not work. It fucks up your digestive system and you'll end up with muscle degeneration but high body fat percentage. Which sucks big time. I can bet you.
Breakfast:
- Chocolate oat milk
Post breakfast: A piece of fruit, probably a papaya
Lunch:
Post lunch: Almonds, gluten-free chocolate, another fruit
Dinner:
My last tip for you guys is to drink lots and lots and lots of water! The benefits of water are endless, from clearing the toxins in your body leading to good complexion, to curing fatigue, to replenishing blood loss, to helping people who tend to overeat, curing unnecessary hunger and many others :D I personally don't like drinking water cos it makes me bloat(duh) but i'm learning to increase my water intake.
Have lots of rest, stay active and eat well <3
KISSES FOR YOU
Holy shit tho, abrupt picture HAHAHAHA
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